The New York Times Motherlode blog has been covering one woman’s fertility journey. My comment to the 10/29/13 post, “Have You Ever Thought of Adopting?” was published at:
As an adoptive parent and an attorney who has devoted my life to creating families through adoption, I understand Amy Klein’s persistence with IVF. Having friends tell you to consider adoption when you are not ready sounds as though they consider your succeeding at achieving a pregnancy impossible. Having a genetic child is one of our deepest biological and psychological desires, and it is difficult to give up on assisted reproduction. That patients exhaust their emotional and financial resources trying to achieve a dreamed-of child is not surprising and everyone’s threshold for continuing medical treatment is different.
I am saddened and offended by many of the comments to Ms. Klein’s piece, which view adoption so negatively. Of course, the goal for most people is to have a child who is healthy, physically, mentally, and intellectually, but those who think that adoptive children will be less gifted than biological children need only look at their own family and friends to know that learning disabilities, illness, and imperfection are the lot of many children born into a family. It takes tremendous hubris to believe that achieving a pregnancy guarantees a flawless child.