Following tweets and exploring blogs, websites, and Facebook groups on adoption, I’ve noticed an upsetting theme. Many birth mothers want open adoption. So do many adoptive children. But some adoptive parents are more reluctant. While adoptive parents write glowingly about adoption, many birth mothers and adoptees express anguish that they do not have information about or contact with their birth parents or children. That anguish does not reflect the current trend toward openness in the adoption of children born in the United States today. The brick wall that used to be erected between adoptive and birth families is disappearing. Birth mothers want open adoption in some form. They typically interview prospective adoptive parents and choose the family for their child. State adoption laws now require providing adoptive families with a birth mother’s social and medical history and medical records so that the adoptive children have this critical background information. In almost all of the domestic adoptions in my law practice, adoptive children know the identity of their birth mother, and increasing numbers of birth mothers know the identity of the adoptive family. In recognition that many birth mothers want open adoption, post-adoption contact through text and photo exchanges, and sometimes visits, is the norm, even enforceable under many state laws. As adoption comes out of the closet, continues to open up, and becomes one of so many ways to become a modern family, I believe that the anguish of most of the birth mothers and adoptees that we now see in social media will fade.